Every year various people from all walks of life work vigorously together as a powerful unit to fight against cancer, and every year the results are remarkable. For most of us, it’s not just a good cause, but a personal engagement when we join in as fellow warriors in the fight against cancer. I can testify that I’ve lost a father and a brother to this dreadful disease and I know of many other people affected by the same pain and loss. Therefore, most annual assaults on cancer stem from a mutual desire to collectively join forces in eradicating this disease, because we are aware of the suffering and the impact that it has on lives. It gives us comfort knowing that there is a continuous war going on and that every action works towards defeating the power of this mighty enemy.
It is strange though that through all our commitment and efforts, we allow a different kind of cancer to eat away at our beings. This one we choose to entertain and give a place in our lives, contradicting our stance. We allow it to enter our hearts, and then it slowly poisons our minds, trapping us in bitterness. I am referring to the lack of forgiveness… and by my definition: the cancer of the soul.
Now, you may frown upon this statement, but I would like to point out that just like cancer, “unforgiveness” takes its time to spread and do harm. It festers in one’s soul, consuming your inner light, as it slowly but surely spreads to different areas of your life. Its aim is always to destroy. An incident or various events may have caused your pain, but you will notice that the longer you hold on to it, the more it changes you as a person. Perhaps it initially started out in anger, and then it escalated to resentment with an apparent distrust towards your inflictor. Soon enough you find that you have difficulty trusting all people and before you know it you’ve become dissatisfied with yourself and your life, continuously blaming others for all your problems.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
– Lewis B. Smedes
Someone once said that the reluctance to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. The reality is that although you may, or may not, have been responsible for your pain; unwillingness to forgive keeps you locked up in prison while it steals your joy. Most people think that forgiveness is meant for the one who caused the harm. This is not the case. We choose to forgive to set ourselves free from that who holds power over us. Many times, people try counselling, or some form of restoration, to help them cope with past hurts, but still struggle to overcome them. One can work through issues, but if you fail to pull it up from the roots, it will grow back again. The longer someone refuses to set him/herself free from a self-imposed prison, irrespective of who or what caused the pain; they will have difficulty living a happier life.
We see needy and desperate people every day of our lives. Thus, every one of us knows that we do live in a broken world filled with broken people and that our society is bowed to sorrows and agonies. You see it in the haunted eyes of an abused child, or the sorrow-filled voice of a divorcée, and the tired face of a widow who doesn’t know how to provide the next meal for her kids. However, although we see the result, we often fail to understand that the cause is our imperfection. No one, not a single one of us, is perfect. It includes your colleague at the office, or the person in the mirror staring back at you. Because of our imperfections, we are guaranteed to make mistakes, fail and hurt and be on the receiving end of it too. Now we can continue to point fingers and shout for justice, but this does not set people free form their inner pains. I suppose all that we can do is to forgive one another and ourselves, while we pick up the pieces and try again.
Don’t you think it’s time that we also unite against this cancer in our souls and defeat it through mutual love, understanding and respect? Every day of our lives, every one of us is fighting some inner battle. Let’s be kinder, more helpful, and conscious of our imperfections in our daily dealings with one another.
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